Shout Out-S

it had been so long i didn't spill out in this blog, today, i'd lost my partner
i was really sad and only He knew how was i feeling, 
here the story goes --->


i had a crush on someone, yea..he at first was really damn annoying. he made me feel like a fool to him, we were like a cat and dog. fought here and there. but yea~ people might say that don't ever hate person really hard as one day you'll fall in love with that person. and i am experience it right now, i never thought he was actually made fun of me on purposely just to make me realized his existence. it was about almost 2 years we got fighting every time we met each other, i didn't know what time i realized that i liked him. if i didn't fight with him for at least once in a week i felt empty, like something in me was missing. 


one day, i entered chat room in ym, i didn't know why suddenly i decided to join them. i'd like to find a friend maybe although i knew it was really impossible to meet a good guy or girl in that room. i'd try to enter london room, and so many countries but what i got was just so many indian people. i'd like to know british or irish or japanese people, just to enhance my english language and to make friends with people from other country so that i could gain so many knowledge. but my 'hardworking' was just like a dust. and at thaht time, i was being a bored girl, and i got a hunch to try to enter malaysia chat  room, ngee i didn't know la what should i say, i was strongly believed why malay people did not move at a high level because they were being such a jerk people here and there talking about sex. too many people and sometimes i thought were there still have a good guy out there? that was really disappointing.


but i was glad, maybe were meant to know each other, i was really glad to know him. he such a good guy, and my first impression of him was quite good and i decided to give him my phone number without thinking twice. and we were being a good friends as long as i could say. he got his own business,  he got his own mission and vision and i was proud of him.
he taught me so many things and took a very good care of my health. he woke me up at dawn, and i was doing the same thing. it was like we took care of each other wisely. he shared so many things and iwas doing the same. 


but until one day, 16th March 2012, i decided to tell him what was actually in my heart and mind. i knew it would hurt him badly but i was also hurt as i was cheating myself. i gave him and myself a chance so that we could know each other and i'd like to test my heart if i really like him as more that a friend, i kept thinking about it, and i found nothing. i loved him to be my friend. a good friend of mine.
unfortunately, now he was gone. i couldn't hpld him anymore, the more i held him tightly te meore he would get hurt. have you ever heard that if you really love somebody you have to let him/her go. and i did that. yes it was true that i was really, badly, damn sad but i still got Firas by my side. who would guide me to Him. insyaalah. but, he got no one. i mean his soul mate. and he should not wasting his time to wait for me. he should use this time wisely to find another girl who was 100% better than me. i knew i shouldn't say that because it was about heart we were talking about. i was really guilty.if i didn't give him my number he would never get hurt. but yet, let by gone br by gone. we couldn't undo our time and we had to believe that everything happened for a reason. hence, last but not least, i wanted to ask for an apology. i knew that you might not read this blog again. but i still wanted to write this. who knows maybe one day you would like to have a second to read those postings. and i'll always pray for your own sake, pray for your happiness. 
EN. MOHD FAHMI BIN IBRAHIM, thanks for everything and sorry for hurting you. all the memories that we went through together had change me a little bit and i was really thankful for that. i'd already registered in mengundi day and i would always remember your word to vote malay people no matter what happened. as long as they did their job wisely. and i was strongly believed that u might be a good, great politician and business man in Malaysia. just one thing i'd like you to remember, no matter what, LIVE WELL OR LIVE HELL you CHOOSE, so be careful and don't ever forget your responsibility to people...



 may ALLAH bless
*SHAHIRUL AIMA*